We celebrated Jacob turning three this weekend. I am still in awe of this fact. I can not believe he is three already. When did this happen? The time has gone by so darn fast. He is so sweet and funny. He talks so much now and just loves to perform. Gee, I wonder where he gets that from? He loves trains and dinosaurs and recieved some of both for his birthday. My parents bought him a train table and my mom and I decorated an extra room in our basement in a train motif. It looks amazing.
I am so happy for some friends of ours who had a baby girl last night after having two boys at home already. What a blessing for them.
Benjamin has become quite the character. He chatters all the time although we rarely know what he is saying. He signs for more, all done, milk and thank-you. With more and all done being his most frequently used signs. It is quite adorable to see him use them. He runs everywhere now and tries so hard to keep up with Jake. Jake, on the other hand could care less if he has a brother or not. I certainly hope he grows out of that.
We had a nice Hallowe'en. Jacob was Spiderman and Benjamin was a baby chick. They both were so cute. Jake at first did not want to go Trick or Treating. He wanted to stay home and watch a movie instead! Once we convinced to go to a few houses he was hooked and was out til almost 9pm. Next year, he has told me, he wants to be a dinosaur and he thinks it would be a great idea if Benjamin is a paleantologist! LOL. So my mom is gearing up to sew a T-Rex costume! Anything for her Jakey.
Still struggling to make better food choices. I know this will be something I toy with all my life. But other than that we are hanging in there...

Nothing and everything is new.
Ben has turned one and started walking at 10.5 months! He has such a funny personality and is very rough! I guess he has to be in order to keep up with his big brother.
We had a fairly large birthday party for him...about 72 people in the local park with pony rides. It was a nice day. Ben had fun.
I had this grand idea to go back to work. That lasted less than 2 months. I am home again and right where I should be. I don't know what I was thinking. I missed being with the boys so much. The boys went to Montessori while I was at work and they really loved it. We have decided to keep Jake in two days a week since he loves going. I think it will be great for him since he starts Juniour Kindergarten next Spetember already. I also like the thought of having some alone time with Ben.
Adam and I hit a rough spot in May and nearly split up. After much soul searching and determination we have turned our love around and realized what is important in our lives. Having a healthy, together family. We have been working very hard to be better for one another and communicate better.
Adam was off work from December to July. He did pick up a temporary gig that paid 1/3less than is regular job that helped a bit. But it was a very difficult 7 months. That did not help our marital issues.
I am still struggling with making healthy/better food choices. I still have to get 50pounds off. I can get very down on myself... I only have myself to blame for eating CRAP! I will get my shit together.
We have started trying for baby number 3. We want the children to be close in age and with me not getting any younger...it's now or never. We have agreed to give it 9 months and if we are not pregnant by then Adam will have a vasectomy. So cross your fingers we are meant to have another baby. I am very happy and grateful with the family we have been gifted. So if it does not happen I will certainly not be unhappy. Our two little boys are amazingly wonderful and we are so blessed.
Jacob has grown up so much. I can not believe he is going to be three. He is such a little man with a big heart and a big temper! He is so much like I was at as a child. He is the spitting image of me physically and a real chip of the ole block in every other way. It is sweet revenge for my parents who watch from the sidelines and just laugh. I guess that's the fun about being a granparent! LOL.
Anyway, for anyone who still comes to check out my sweet and simple life. Hello. And here's what been happening!

I need to loose 52 pounds. I have to loose 52 pounds. I want to loose 52 pounds. So now the tough part...how to do it? Ok so knowing how to do it, and doing it are two different things.
I am so angry with myself. I had gastric bypass and thought I had the world by the tail. I had found the serect tool to waight loss and would never have to struggle with weight again. How naive of me to think that. I did not deal with the reasons why I eat. I am starting to do that now. I have joined BANA. Bulima Anorexia Nervose Association. Yes, I know I am neither of those things..but they deal with all eating disorders and I have been diagnised with Binge Eating Disorder. I am going to get to the bottom of this so that not only can I get to my health weight...but, I can get to my healthy self. I need to do this for myself and for my children. I do not want them to have to deal with these food issues. I want healthy children- mentally as well as physically.
Another thing...I will not have another baby until I loose 52 pounds... and I want another so badly. So this is for that new baby too.
I will be posting here more frequently now.. I see the BANA councellor tomorrow so I will post any ah-ha moments I have.
Something needs to be done and I have to be the one to do it. I have hit rock bottom and I will be the one to lift myself up out of the darkness.

They went in backwards... so Birth is at the bottom...1.5 months and then today at the top...
He is so funny.
I will post more later... All is well.

So I know I have been very neglectful..but since July our computer has been down and hubby just sat down to fix it last night.
As you have guessed...our son has been born.
We chose to name him Benjamin Saul.
He was born 2 weeks 5 days early on August 27th at 2:45AM He was tiny...weighing 6 pounds 7 ounces and was 18 inches long. He is perfect and wonderful.
Jacob has tunred two and has adjusted well to being a big brother. He calls the Ben...My Baby and wants to hug, hold and kiss him all the time.
It has been an adjustment but has gone quite well. Ben started sleeping 6 hours at night at 4 weeks and by 8 weeks we was sleeping 8 hours. How could I complain about that?
Since our computer was down I have not had a chance to download any pictures of him...once I do you will see him. He is beautiful. He is very different from Jake. Hard to imagine they are brothers. LOL.
I am struggling with my weight. I have been making very poor food choices. I need to fix myself or I am at risk of gaining my weight back. I am scared.
I promise to be better at posting now that I can.

I know I should have pics to go along with this post but it is 11:30 at night and I am too tired to go get them to scan them in! LOL.
But it went well, he is still a boy (thankfully), he is right on track and he weighs about 3 pounds 9 ounces.The tech had a hard time getting some of the measurements because he was moving around so much. Also he was not yet "breathing" on his own...but she said they just start doing it at 30 weeks and not to worry. They will see it next time at our 34 week ultrasound. Dr Mundle was happy and told me to keep doing what I do best! LOL. Also I lost a pound...so that puts me up 28 pounds! 3 more than with Jake. It's so hard to see the scale going up since I have worked so hard to get my excess weight off but I know come September I will kick my butt to get back to where I was and then hopefully smaller even. I would love to get to my goal. I will not allow myself to get pregnant again until I am at my goal..
The weather has been great and hot..I am loving it. Jake and I have been using his pool a bit but mostly we go to my parent's house and swim there. I am so happy Jake likes the water as much as he does.
Jake turned 20 months old on the 9th and got his first haircut. My mom did it as it is a tradition in our family that she do all the first haircuts on the kids. (She used to be a hairdresser) He moved around a lot so she had a hard time. But nonetheless it looks cute and he looks more like a little boy now. Which makes me sad. He has been talking so much lately and loves to hear new words, he gets so proud of himself when says new things. Today he wanted a pool noodle at my mom's so he said "noonle?" I said, "please???" so then he said, "pease noonle!" it was so adorable. I just love the way he pronounces things. He is such a treasure.
We have narrowed down the name search to three: Gavin, Ryan or Matthew. So now we just have to continue saying them and see which one fits in the end. I can not believe how hard it is this time to name the baby. With Jacob we just knew. For awhile I was thinking that maybe the tech was wrong last time and really we were having a girl and that was why none of the boy names were sounding right. But that is not the case.
Anyway, gotta run to bed. We have a birthday party to go to tomorrow and I need some sleep.

Once again all is well. Thank-fully. That's for sure. Heart rate is 150 and steady. Can't ask for more than that. I gained about 3 pounds since last month..not too bad either. I go in 2 weeks for our next ultrasound. I am very excited about that.
Jacob is great. Growing taller everyday and talking more and more. He cracks us up.
My parents have been in Las Vegas for about 9 days now and I have missed them terribly. They come home tomorrow morning and I can not wait to hug them. It sounds like they have had a great time.
My beautiful niece turns 4 years old on Monday. We are celebrating her birthday on Sunday. I can not believe she is already 4 and will be starting school in September. It seems like only yesterday she was born. It is so true how fast the time goes. She is such a great little girl I can not imagine my world without her in it. She adds so much joy to my life. Her and Jacob get along so well and it is so much fun to see them together. They are so funny.